This varies from dancer to dancer. Some girls spend hundreds of dollars weekly to make sure they are in perfect shape for their weekly shifts. Some girls, let’s face it, don’t do enough to prepare themselves for their shifts. It all depends on what works for you, how much you’re willing to spend, and how much you can afford for that matter. Exotic dancers are generally expected to be looking extra good from head to toe. Yes, that means from weave to pedicured toes ladies!
I’ll give a quick run-through of my beauty routine. To make it simple, I’ll go from head to toe.
I addressed one aspect of this little issue in an earlier post. It was the Stripper Pet Peeve on people who think that exotic dancers aren’t intelligent. Unfortunately that isn’t the only negative way workers in the sex industry are viewed. Society paints a horrible picture of what we do and who we are. Many people think that we are any or even all of the following:
1. Drug-addicted. Coke tends to be the drug of popular belief when it comes to stereotyping strippers.
3. Lacking in self-respect/self-esteem
Though this may be the case for some people, it should not be generalized to ALL sex workers. It’s just like racial stereotypes. Not all black people are loud and like fried chicken. Not all Asian people are awesome at math. Not all white people can’t dance. Not all Hispanics and are uneducated. Getting the picture here? The same rule goes for strippers and any other type of sex worker.
I understand that society will never truly accept us. I’m not Obama here, so make no mistake, I’m not trying to advocate for some serious change. I’m simply expressing my concerns on how sex workers are portrayed and thought of by society. I just feel like its due to a lot of ignorance and conformity. People are going to judge what we do for a living, but we’re working hard and who’s to say we aren’t making an honest living? Sure, maybe some of us aren’t going about our money-making ways in an honest fashion, but again, that does not mean all of us aren’t. Food for thought.
SPP #38 - When patrons expect to have sex in the champagne room
In the words of Chris Rock,
"There’s no sex in the Champagne Room…None!
Oh there’s CHAMPAGNE in the Champagne Room
But you don’t want Champagne…you want sex
And there’s no sex…in the Champagne Room.”
Maybe in some clubs, you can get down and dirty with a stripper in the champagne room. That’s just not the case in my club (and I would think most to be honest). The rules don’t change just because you pay more for champagne and a little privacy. Please stop convincing yourselves that you can get away with more in that special room.
I let patrons know well in advance that the dances in the champagne room don’t differ that much from the VIP dances. The only difference is the champagne and the privacy. In my club, there isn’t even that much privacy in the champagne room. They are conveniently placed near the DJ booth so that DJ’s can see what’s going on. It can be odd for the dancer and the customers to know that there are a pair of eyes on them, but it comes in handy when you have drunk customers who get a little too rough. I’ve seen it happen a dozen times when a customer who’s had a beer too many can’t seem to keep his hands from exploring and then security guys take control of the situation.
Gentlemen, if you’re looking for a little extra, then look up your local escort agency rather than hoping you’ll get lucky in a strip club. It’s just not happening.
So I must confess that I have been on an on-and-off dancing hiatus this summer. It started because after I graduated, I moved back in with my parents. We live about an hour away from the club I work at. Not that bad of a commute right? It doesn’t matter because even if the club was 5 minutes away, it doesn’t change the fact that I live with over-protective, over-bearing parents who don’t want to acknowledge that I’m an adult. This is in part where being a secret stripper really blows. I’ve had to sacrifice working the club this summer all because I live with my parents. It’s generally not even on my mind up until I get a regular texting me to inquire when I’ll be in the club again. A good few loyal patrons of mine have been texting me regularly (sometimes once a week) asking if i’ll be back soon. It sucks to know that I could’ve been making money this summer and instead i’m stuck at home feeling like a child. My plan for the end of the summer (which has pretty much passed) was to get a job near the club, and that would serve as my cover job. I would live with an old neighbor while I worked the club and this cover job. This is what I did last summer when I first starting working the club.Highly complex I know. Two problems with my plan for this year:
1. I can’t get a job anywhere!
2. The neighbor I was going to stay with might be moving soon.
My life would be so much less complicated if I didn’t have parents that were all up in my business and had to know where I’m at and who with ALL THE TIME. I feel so suffocated sometimes and it’s just embarrassing in general. People ask me all the time why I still listen to my parents and why anything I do is there business. All I can say is your standard, “you don’t know my parents.” They’re not the kind of people you can just leave in the dark. Sure, I do that with my occupation, but that’s a serious task in itself.
I’m just incredibly frustrated and I just want to find a way to get back to the club as soon as possible. Worst case scenario (which isn’t really that bad), I wait until next fall when I get into grad school (which will be located near the club) and I work there then. I’ll lose a year worth of potential money and I might even lose some well-respected patrons :(. I guess only time will tell….
SPP #37 - When the DJ plays a bad song during my set
This doesn’t happen too often but when it does, it totally kills my stage buzz. Generally a bad song gets played because of any of the following reasons:
1. DJ doesn’t like you/you pissed him off so he’s taking it out on your stage set
2. DJ is trying out new music and it’s a flop (it happens)
3. DJ just doesn’t have a good feel for the music you dance best to
4. He’s a bad DJ (unfortunate, but not everyone is good at what they claim to be good at)
Now there are some bad songs that get played, but you can still dance to it like it’s nobody’s business. However, there are songs that are extremely hard to dance to. Songs that are either extremely slow, extremely fast, or have an off-beat rhythm are really hard to dance to. I mean so bad to the point that even the customers can tell that you’re struggling to make it through the song. Again, this rarely ever happens and I’m sure some of you dancers are just thinking “if you’re a good dancer, you should be able to dance to any song.” I would agree with you if it weren’t for the fact that I’ve seen the best dancers at my club get thrown a bad song and their set wasn’t that strong. It’s only ever happened to me a handful of times. In every case, I tried my best to follow the rhythm and dance as best I could.
Dancers generally dance their best when it’s to songs that they like the most. The DJ’s at my club know which songs I dance best to so they try to play those songs or ones like them the most. It’s like Pandora, but for strip club DJ-ing. If the song is bad, regardless of the complexity of its rhythm, it can bring your dancer energy down a notch. I don’t know if anyone can relate, but I’d much rather dance to a song where mentally and physically, i’m like “FUCK YEAH" and pulling out all my best pole and floor work than the song that makes me go "meh….whatever.”
When I brought the idea of becoming a stripper to my boyfriend, I did it as more of a joke because I really didn’t think he’d be okay with it. He surprised me, however, when he expressed his support and borderline excitement in me becoming an exotic dancer. He even took me to my interview - but mainly because I wanted him to serve as a sort of bodyguard in case I didn’t like the place. I got the job (obvi) and we were both excited. A couple of my friends thought that it was strange he was okay with my job choice, but I explained that he is not a jealous person.
My boyfriend has been very supportive of my choice in occupation. So much so that sometimes I question whether he is just a really supportive boyfriend or whether its solely the money that I make that entices him. We’ve talked about our future together many times and he has expressed that he plans on being the ‘bread winner,’ but sometimes I get the sense that he hopes to benefit from the money I make as well. I have no problem sharing my money because I want an equal relationship, but I don’t want my man to just want me to strip for his own selfish benefit.
I want to believe that he’s just being supportive of what I want and not acting like a pimp. He always makes sure to ask me how work goes. I always let him know if I have a good day or bad day. By bad day, I don’t just mean not making a lot of money. Sometimes I have horrible days and do quite well with money. In any case, he doesn’t get upset or anything if I don’t make a lot of money on a certain shift. He seems to be more concerned with how my shift made me feel. Stuff like this makes me feel like he’s being supportive.
I’ve been on somewhat of a dancing hiatus this summer and he often times asks me when I will return. Sometimes when we talk about our plans for the future and saving up money for a house, he says things like “if you work the club for a couple more years we can have so much money.” It’s a true statement and it’s what I want to do, but I wonder if he’ll be disappointed if I choose not to. I’m going to grad school next year and since I have no idea what my course load will be like, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to juggle school with work.
I feel like maybe I’m being a little ridiculous in questioning my boyfriend’s support, but sometimes he says things to throw me off. I’m probably being silly, but what do you think?
Do guys really think tan lines are hot? When I first started working in the club, mine made me really self-conscious but other dancers tell me that guys think they’re hot. I just got back from Cancun and I’m about 4 shades darker with some pretty intense tan lines. What do you think about what guys think about tan lines?
Let me just say that even outside of the club, obscenely drunk people can be seriously hard to tolerate. They are often times loud, rude, and widely inappropriate. Well….it’s ten times worse at the strip club. All those nasty little side effects of alcohol consumption such as lowered inhibitions and poor judgement make for a nasty mix in the strip club environment.
ABOUT BEING LOUD:
You get those drunk customers that are just loud and act like damn fools. They holler at the girls on stage and often times at the DJ. There might also be a lot of clapping, whistling, and the inevitable “whoooooooo’s.” Not cool brah.
ABOUT BEING RUDE:
Drunken patrons are often times very rude to the dancers, the servers, and even management. It’s never smart to subject managers to drunken rants because they can easily kick you out. You don’t want to be rude to the servers because they can always just stop serving you. Lastly, you definitely don’t want to disrespect the dancers because if they don’t get you kicked out, they will tell every other dancer in the club about your rudeness and dancers will avoid you when they see you drinking. I can’t stand it when I’m talking to a customer who’s had a few, and he just starts making rude comments either about me or another dancer.
ABOUT BEING INAPPROPRIATE:
It’s no surprise that when alcohol is involved, all respect and regard for the rules and for the women goes out the door. Many times when patrons are drunk, they think it’s okay to just grab on a girl any kind of way. In my club, unless you’re doing a lap dance, there is a strict limit on how much physical contact is allowed. I don’t care if you’re drunk buddy, do not slap my ass as I walk by or I will slap your face! It’s even worse actually having to give lap dances to drunk customers. They tend to be more aggressive about trying to get ‘extras’. It doesn’t matter how many times you say “no” or “stop,” they just don’t seem to absorb it. Drunk customers will also make inappropriate remarks to dancers. Again, BIG MISTAKE. You either put that Corona down or you learn to bite your tongue. Also, don’t do stupid shit like trying to mess with girls while they’re on stage. The bouncers take that shit very seriously. Also, do not, I repeat: DO NOT TRY AND CLIMB ON THE STAGE YOURSELF. I have seen drunk guys go on stage while I girl is in the middle of her set. One time it happened in my club and before the bouncer could get to him, he fell backwards off the stage. He looked like a MORON.
If you can’t hold it together when you drink, then don’t drink in the club. We already have enough trouble getting respect from sober patrons. Please don’t make it any harder on us. If you must drink, please don’t get drunk unless you know you can A. keep your shit together and B. keep all respect for everyone in the club well intact.
SPP #35 - Patrons trying to have a convo with you during your set
Last time I checked, I’m supposed to dance when I get on stage….not be sharing my life story or talking about what happened during the latest soccer game. I just get so tired of customers coming up to the stage trying to have a conversation with me. I’m fine if they just want to say hello and find out what my name is. I just can’t stand it when they want to keep talking about random shit.
It’s incredibly difficult to try to dance and talk at the same time. The stage in my club is a couple feet in the air so I either have to keel down to talk face to face or look down the whole time while I dance. Generally I end up having to kneel down because its hard to hear anything over the music when you’re on stage. I look SILLY AS SHIT kneeling down on the ground my whole set. Patrons are lucky because I’m too polite (most times) to tell them to talk to me later.
I would just REALLY appreciate it if customers would wait to have more than a few words with me when I get off stage. That’s why there are chairs and tables all around the club. While I’m on stage, I should be dancing. Patrons should either be tipping and/or watching my set in awe……but mostly tipping ;)
Not sure how the rest of the U.S./world is going right now, but all the strip clubs I have been working at have been dead. Like, really terribly dead. Thinking of going to hit some different clubs. Or maybe just only working a little bit for the rest of the summer, and enjoy my…
I have found that in the summer, it is seriously hit or miss. Usually those hit days are just lucky.
I know that people clap to show their appreciation, but to quote a friend/fellow dancer: "FYI, clapping does not pay my bills." First off, it’s really not cute to clap in the first place. It’s a strip club, not a dance recital. If you want to show your appreciation, open up that wallet and tip me. I’m not coming into work, taking off my clothes and pulling out my best pole tricks so that all you give me is a round of applause. I. JUST. WANT. YOUR. MONEY.
If you really must clap, then please supplement it with quite a few singles on the stage, please and thanks. I also accept $10’s, $20’s, and stacks.
*P.S. generally this issue doesn’t occur too often, but had some serious clappers this week.
So two days ago, I had my first experience of giving a lap dance to a submissive customer. I had heard other dancers talk about their experiences with these types of customers who get off on humiliation and sometimes even pain. One of the most recent stories I had heard was of a girl shooting snot into a customer’s mouth and making him sing I’m a little tea pot in a really high voice. Some of you are probably thinking WTF? You are not alone. I could never see myself doing something like that even if it means more money. It is definitely way outside of my comfort zone. I studied sexual disorders and fetishes in college so I get it, but it still makes me uncomfortable.
The customer that I ended up dancing for kept saying “I’m your little bitch” and “yes ma’am” throughout the entire dance. He also wanted me to pinch his nipples and tell him what to do. The one thing that this dance taught me was I could never had a career as a dominatrix. EVER. I’m reasonably dominating in bed when I’m in the mood, but nothing involving humiliation or significant amounts of pain. Even though I was uncomfortable, i’m glad that I had this experience. There’s certainly a first time for most things in the club and surely it won’t be my last time.
SPP #33 - When dancers think that they own customers
It should come as no surprise to dancers that a decent percentage of patrons are not willing to be “loyal” to just one dancer. Why should they be? If they come to an establishment filled with gorgeous woman willing to dance, flirt, and converse with them AND they have money, then why should they be limited to just one girl? Men in monogamous relationships are supposed to limit themself to just one girl (not that they do). In strip clubs, you can have whoever you want. There is no commitment that has to be made.
I’m not saying that there aren’t customers that choose to be loyal to one girl. *By loyal, I mean that they are only willing to get dances from a certain girl and in some cases, only tip that girl.* Some patrons take pride in spending all their money and club time on ONE girl and that’s fine. I’m sure all dancers at some point have had at least 1 customer that declared themselves a loyal patron (whether that was true or not). I know that I have.
So cutting the chit chat…. I can’t stand it when dancers can’t handle sharing their customers. These dancers either have some serious jealousy issues or they get way to caught up in the idea of having a loyal customer. Even if a customer is loyal to you for a period of time, you have to be realistic and keep in mind that at any point in time, for any given reason, he might choose another dancer. It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong or that he doesn’t like you. It also doesn’t mean that he won’t still get dances from you. He may just want a little fresh meat.
I know that it sucks because maybe your car payment or rent money depended on him and now your money is getting split. Just don’t take it out on the other dancer he chooses. I mean, I understand getting upset when a dancer “steps on your toes,” but if a customer wants another girl, that is his choice. I can’t tell you how many dancers I’ve seen get pissed off because “their" customer got a dance from another girl. Boo Hoo! Newsflash: YOU DON’T OWN HIM.
I’ve even seen girls who’ve given a dance to someone just ONE TIME get upset when they see that customer getting a dance from a different girl next time he comes in. The next thing you know, that dancer is in the dressing room bitching about the nerve of that customer or even just bitching about the dancer that he chose. Unless you know for a fact that she stepped on your toes, then you have no reason to get upset with her and talk shit about her behind her back (or to her face).
So ladies, please keep in mind that club patrons are free to choose any girl that they please. Even if you do have a “loyal” patron, please always keep in mind that one day, he may move on to another girl. Unless she truly stole him from you, don’t waste too much time being angry with her. If your customer is willing to buy dances from you and another girl, try and be content sharing. I know it sucks, but you should always try and make the best of any situation and there are PLENTY of things in this life that you will not have control over. Dancers can be nothing but numbers just as easily as patrons can.
*quick note: this pet peeve may seem to contradict an earlier post on girls who steal customers, but there is a difference between stepping on a girl’s toes by pulling shady shit and being chosen by a customer without any hustling on your part. Just wanted to make that clear.
Since I just mentioned it in the previous post, in case anyone doesn’t know what “stripper head” is, please let me inform you. I discussed it in a really early post but back then I only had a few followers. Stripper head is when a dancer’s ego blows up really big because the attention and compliments she is receiving at the club gets to her. It’s very common and most girls come off of it. Key word: MOST.
SPP #32 - Dancers who fish for compliments from other dancers
Getting down to business….a lot of talk goes down in the dressing room. Dancers talk about what’s currently going on in their life, the customers, other dancers, and often times - just talk about themselves. This is normal in a strip club dressing room. What is also normal and seriously annoying is when dancers will fish for compliments from other dancers. I won’t lie, I did it when I had stripper head, but eventually you have to get over that. Some dancers never do. I have found that there are two ways that dancers fish for compliments:
1. They complain about their appearance to get you to defend them. You know how it is when someone will complain they aren’t good looking or good enough at something just so someone will say “what are you talking about? you’re gorgeous or you’re amazing at that…..” We’ve all had encounters with people who do this and maybe we’ve even done it ourselves before. I just hate it when dancers do it. You know that you’re tummy looks good, but for some reason you need me to tell you it looks good? To those girls: please stop whining about yourself. Your physical appearance doesn’t need work, your ego does.
2. Dancers will compliment themselves in an effort to get you to agree with them. I find that this way is much more annoying. I was once in a dressing room with one other girl and she kept going on and on about how good her ass looked that day. We were the only ones in the dressing room! Bitch, I know what you’re doing and i’m not going to be like, “you’re right, your ass DOES look good today.”
Again, I’ve been that girl before so I get it, but eventually you need to get your ego in check. It’s not cute to fish for compliments. It’s just…..not.
(I know if anyone unfollows me for this, its because they are one of these girls)
During the day, I’m just an ordinary girl who lives an ordinary life. At night, however, I become something special. From the moment I put on those clear heels, I’m an entertainer. I’m sexier. I’m confident. Not to mention, I’m taller (always a bonus). There’s something magical about those clear heels. They are the last thing that I put on to complete my “stripper uniform” because they make me feel that much more official.
Men LOVE seeing those clear heels. There’s something about seeing naked women in clear heels that makes men (and women) go wild. It might be a different thing if our patron’s wives/girlfriends put on clear heels, but that’s the thing - they don’t. It’s our thing. It’s part of what makes us special. That, and the fact that we won’t spend our time bitching about the yard not being mowed or the kids not being picked up on time. We put on a sinfully seductive, yet tasteful show for our patrons. We dazzle them and arouse them with our beauty and talents. We make magic.
It starts with those clear heels. I mean hey, it worked for Cinderlla.