When I brought the idea of becoming a stripper to my boyfriend, I did it as more of a joke because I really didn’t think he’d be okay with it. He surprised me, however, when he expressed his support and borderline excitement in me becoming an exotic dancer. He even took me to my interview - but mainly because I wanted him to serve as a sort of bodyguard in case I didn’t like the place. I got the job (obvi) and we were both excited. A couple of my friends thought that it was strange he was okay with my job choice, but I explained that he is not a jealous person.
My boyfriend has been very supportive of my choice in occupation. So much so that sometimes I question whether he is just a really supportive boyfriend or whether its solely the money that I make that entices him. We’ve talked about our future together many times and he has expressed that he plans on being the ‘bread winner,’ but sometimes I get the sense that he hopes to benefit from the money I make as well. I have no problem sharing my money because I want an equal relationship, but I don’t want my man to just want me to strip for his own selfish benefit.
I want to believe that he’s just being supportive of what I want and not acting like a pimp. He always makes sure to ask me how work goes. I always let him know if I have a good day or bad day. By bad day, I don’t just mean not making a lot of money. Sometimes I have horrible days and do quite well with money. In any case, he doesn’t get upset or anything if I don’t make a lot of money on a certain shift. He seems to be more concerned with how my shift made me feel. Stuff like this makes me feel like he’s being supportive.
I’ve been on somewhat of a dancing hiatus this summer and he often times asks me when I will return. Sometimes when we talk about our plans for the future and saving up money for a house, he says things like “if you work the club for a couple more years we can have so much money.” It’s a true statement and it’s what I want to do, but I wonder if he’ll be disappointed if I choose not to. I’m going to grad school next year and since I have no idea what my course load will be like, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to juggle school with work.
I feel like maybe I’m being a little ridiculous in questioning my boyfriend’s support, but sometimes he says things to throw me off. I’m probably being silly, but what do you think?
Do guys really think tan lines are hot? When I first started working in the club, mine made me really self-conscious but other dancers tell me that guys think they’re hot. I just got back from Cancun and I’m about 4 shades darker with some pretty intense tan lines. What do you think about what guys think about tan lines?
Let me just say that even outside of the club, obscenely drunk people can be seriously hard to tolerate. They are often times loud, rude, and widely inappropriate. Well….it’s ten times worse at the strip club. All those nasty little side effects of alcohol consumption such as lowered inhibitions and poor judgement make for a nasty mix in the strip club environment.
ABOUT BEING LOUD:
You get those drunk customers that are just loud and act like damn fools. They holler at the girls on stage and often times at the DJ. There might also be a lot of clapping, whistling, and the inevitable “whoooooooo’s.” Not cool brah.
ABOUT BEING RUDE:
Drunken patrons are often times very rude to the dancers, the servers, and even management. It’s never smart to subject managers to drunken rants because they can easily kick you out. You don’t want to be rude to the servers because they can always just stop serving you. Lastly, you definitely don’t want to disrespect the dancers because if they don’t get you kicked out, they will tell every other dancer in the club about your rudeness and dancers will avoid you when they see you drinking. I can’t stand it when I’m talking to a customer who’s had a few, and he just starts making rude comments either about me or another dancer.
ABOUT BEING INAPPROPRIATE:
It’s no surprise that when alcohol is involved, all respect and regard for the rules and for the women goes out the door. Many times when patrons are drunk, they think it’s okay to just grab on a girl any kind of way. In my club, unless you’re doing a lap dance, there is a strict limit on how much physical contact is allowed. I don’t care if you’re drunk buddy, do not slap my ass as I walk by or I will slap your face! It’s even worse actually having to give lap dances to drunk customers. They tend to be more aggressive about trying to get ‘extras’. It doesn’t matter how many times you say “no” or “stop,” they just don’t seem to absorb it. Drunk customers will also make inappropriate remarks to dancers. Again, BIG MISTAKE. You either put that Corona down or you learn to bite your tongue. Also, don’t do stupid shit like trying to mess with girls while they’re on stage. The bouncers take that shit very seriously. Also, do not, I repeat: DO NOT TRY AND CLIMB ON THE STAGE YOURSELF. I have seen drunk guys go on stage while I girl is in the middle of her set. One time it happened in my club and before the bouncer could get to him, he fell backwards off the stage. He looked like a MORON.
If you can’t hold it together when you drink, then don’t drink in the club. We already have enough trouble getting respect from sober patrons. Please don’t make it any harder on us. If you must drink, please don’t get drunk unless you know you can A. keep your shit together and B. keep all respect for everyone in the club well intact.
SPP #35 - Patrons trying to have a convo with you during your set
Last time I checked, I’m supposed to dance when I get on stage….not be sharing my life story or talking about what happened during the latest soccer game. I just get so tired of customers coming up to the stage trying to have a conversation with me. I’m fine if they just want to say hello and find out what my name is. I just can’t stand it when they want to keep talking about random shit.
It’s incredibly difficult to try to dance and talk at the same time. The stage in my club is a couple feet in the air so I either have to keel down to talk face to face or look down the whole time while I dance. Generally I end up having to kneel down because its hard to hear anything over the music when you’re on stage. I look SILLY AS SHIT kneeling down on the ground my whole set. Patrons are lucky because I’m too polite (most times) to tell them to talk to me later.
I would just REALLY appreciate it if customers would wait to have more than a few words with me when I get off stage. That’s why there are chairs and tables all around the club. While I’m on stage, I should be dancing. Patrons should either be tipping and/or watching my set in awe……but mostly tipping ;)
Not sure how the rest of the U.S./world is going right now, but all the strip clubs I have been working at have been dead. Like, really terribly dead. Thinking of going to hit some different clubs. Or maybe just only working a little bit for the rest of the summer, and enjoy my…
I have found that in the summer, it is seriously hit or miss. Usually those hit days are just lucky.
I know that people clap to show their appreciation, but to quote a friend/fellow dancer: "FYI, clapping does not pay my bills." First off, it’s really not cute to clap in the first place. It’s a strip club, not a dance recital. If you want to show your appreciation, open up that wallet and tip me. I’m not coming into work, taking off my clothes and pulling out my best pole tricks so that all you give me is a round of applause. I. JUST. WANT. YOUR. MONEY.
If you really must clap, then please supplement it with quite a few singles on the stage, please and thanks. I also accept $10’s, $20’s, and stacks.
*P.S. generally this issue doesn’t occur too often, but had some serious clappers this week.
So two days ago, I had my first experience of giving a lap dance to a submissive customer. I had heard other dancers talk about their experiences with these types of customers who get off on humiliation and sometimes even pain. One of the most recent stories I had heard was of a girl shooting snot into a customer’s mouth and making him sing I’m a little tea pot in a really high voice. Some of you are probably thinking WTF? You are not alone. I could never see myself doing something like that even if it means more money. It is definitely way outside of my comfort zone. I studied sexual disorders and fetishes in college so I get it, but it still makes me uncomfortable.
The customer that I ended up dancing for kept saying “I’m your little bitch” and “yes ma’am” throughout the entire dance. He also wanted me to pinch his nipples and tell him what to do. The one thing that this dance taught me was I could never had a career as a dominatrix. EVER. I’m reasonably dominating in bed when I’m in the mood, but nothing involving humiliation or significant amounts of pain. Even though I was uncomfortable, i’m glad that I had this experience. There’s certainly a first time for most things in the club and surely it won’t be my last time.
SPP #33 - When dancers think that they own customers
It should come as no surprise to dancers that a decent percentage of patrons are not willing to be “loyal” to just one dancer. Why should they be? If they come to an establishment filled with gorgeous woman willing to dance, flirt, and converse with them AND they have money, then why should they be limited to just one girl? Men in monogamous relationships are supposed to limit themself to just one girl (not that they do). In strip clubs, you can have whoever you want. There is no commitment that has to be made.
I’m not saying that there aren’t customers that choose to be loyal to one girl. *By loyal, I mean that they are only willing to get dances from a certain girl and in some cases, only tip that girl.* Some patrons take pride in spending all their money and club time on ONE girl and that’s fine. I’m sure all dancers at some point have had at least 1 customer that declared themselves a loyal patron (whether that was true or not). I know that I have.
So cutting the chit chat…. I can’t stand it when dancers can’t handle sharing their customers. These dancers either have some serious jealousy issues or they get way to caught up in the idea of having a loyal customer. Even if a customer is loyal to you for a period of time, you have to be realistic and keep in mind that at any point in time, for any given reason, he might choose another dancer. It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong or that he doesn’t like you. It also doesn’t mean that he won’t still get dances from you. He may just want a little fresh meat.
I know that it sucks because maybe your car payment or rent money depended on him and now your money is getting split. Just don’t take it out on the other dancer he chooses. I mean, I understand getting upset when a dancer “steps on your toes,” but if a customer wants another girl, that is his choice. I can’t tell you how many dancers I’ve seen get pissed off because “their" customer got a dance from another girl. Boo Hoo! Newsflash: YOU DON’T OWN HIM.
I’ve even seen girls who’ve given a dance to someone just ONE TIME get upset when they see that customer getting a dance from a different girl next time he comes in. The next thing you know, that dancer is in the dressing room bitching about the nerve of that customer or even just bitching about the dancer that he chose. Unless you know for a fact that she stepped on your toes, then you have no reason to get upset with her and talk shit about her behind her back (or to her face).
So ladies, please keep in mind that club patrons are free to choose any girl that they please. Even if you do have a “loyal” patron, please always keep in mind that one day, he may move on to another girl. Unless she truly stole him from you, don’t waste too much time being angry with her. If your customer is willing to buy dances from you and another girl, try and be content sharing. I know it sucks, but you should always try and make the best of any situation and there are PLENTY of things in this life that you will not have control over. Dancers can be nothing but numbers just as easily as patrons can.
*quick note: this pet peeve may seem to contradict an earlier post on girls who steal customers, but there is a difference between stepping on a girl’s toes by pulling shady shit and being chosen by a customer without any hustling on your part. Just wanted to make that clear.
Since I just mentioned it in the previous post, in case anyone doesn’t know what “stripper head” is, please let me inform you. I discussed it in a really early post but back then I only had a few followers. Stripper head is when a dancer’s ego blows up really big because the attention and compliments she is receiving at the club gets to her. It’s very common and most girls come off of it. Key word: MOST.
SPP #32 - Dancers who fish for compliments from other dancers
Getting down to business….a lot of talk goes down in the dressing room. Dancers talk about what’s currently going on in their life, the customers, other dancers, and often times - just talk about themselves. This is normal in a strip club dressing room. What is also normal and seriously annoying is when dancers will fish for compliments from other dancers. I won’t lie, I did it when I had stripper head, but eventually you have to get over that. Some dancers never do. I have found that there are two ways that dancers fish for compliments:
1. They complain about their appearance to get you to defend them. You know how it is when someone will complain they aren’t good looking or good enough at something just so someone will say “what are you talking about? you’re gorgeous or you’re amazing at that…..” We’ve all had encounters with people who do this and maybe we’ve even done it ourselves before. I just hate it when dancers do it. You know that you’re tummy looks good, but for some reason you need me to tell you it looks good? To those girls: please stop whining about yourself. Your physical appearance doesn’t need work, your ego does.
2. Dancers will compliment themselves in an effort to get you to agree with them. I find that this way is much more annoying. I was once in a dressing room with one other girl and she kept going on and on about how good her ass looked that day. We were the only ones in the dressing room! Bitch, I know what you’re doing and i’m not going to be like, “you’re right, your ass DOES look good today.”
Again, I’ve been that girl before so I get it, but eventually you need to get your ego in check. It’s not cute to fish for compliments. It’s just…..not.
(I know if anyone unfollows me for this, its because they are one of these girls)
During the day, I’m just an ordinary girl who lives an ordinary life. At night, however, I become something special. From the moment I put on those clear heels, I’m an entertainer. I’m sexier. I’m confident. Not to mention, I’m taller (always a bonus). There’s something magical about those clear heels. They are the last thing that I put on to complete my “stripper uniform” because they make me feel that much more official.
Men LOVE seeing those clear heels. There’s something about seeing naked women in clear heels that makes men (and women) go wild. It might be a different thing if our patron’s wives/girlfriends put on clear heels, but that’s the thing - they don’t. It’s our thing. It’s part of what makes us special. That, and the fact that we won’t spend our time bitching about the yard not being mowed or the kids not being picked up on time. We put on a sinfully seductive, yet tasteful show for our patrons. We dazzle them and arouse them with our beauty and talents. We make magic.
It starts with those clear heels. I mean hey, it worked for Cinderlla.
So the brilliant and beautifull Miss Ginger Lee pretty much covered this one, but I want to bitch just a little bit more about this subject.
Last time I checked, no means no. It should mean the same thing in any language, in any culture, in any place in the world. Do not think that just because you’re in a strip club, the word “no” doesn’t exist. As Ginger Lee pointed out, WE ARE PEOPLE TOO. We’re not just women that you can disrespect. We will not tolerate that bull shit. Even if one or two dancers lets you get away with something in the back, it doesn’t mean that another dancer can’t say no when you try to do the same thing to her. We set our own limitations based on our own level of tolerance and regard for the rules.
It’s already frustrating as it is to have to tell a customer not to do something because it’s making me uncomfortable. If I have to continue telling you NOT to do something then we have an issue. I’m sorry but last time I checked, “no” does not mean keep trying to finger me. I’m not saying “no” to play hard to get. I just don’t want you touching me in certain places or handling me in a certain way. I don’t care if you think less of me just because i’m a stripper. I deserve respect. All women out there deserve respect.
don’t risk getting a lap dance cut short, getting pulled out by security, and/or slapped in the face just because you want to pretend like you either have a hearing problem or just have no regards for someone’s personal boundaries. If you can’t take no for an answer, GTFO! You are just a number in the club and trust that there are plenty of other patrons that are willing to respect me and my wishes.
SPP #30 - Customers that expect/try to get extras in the back
WARNING: A serious rant is about to take place. This is one of my absolute greatest pet peeves as a dancer. There is so much that goes into this that I hardly even know where to begin…
Let’s start with those customers who even before they get a dance, will ask what you will do for them in the back. Ladies, we know that they’re referring to ‘extras.’ I’ll tell them flat out that I do not do extras in the back. If they decide not to get a dance out of me because of it, that is just fine with me. Onto the next one! I mean, hey, you’re only cheating yourself out of an amazingly sensual and entertaining experience. Just saying.
It also does no good to give me the whole but that dancer over there will do X, Y, and Z, for X amount of dollars speech. Knowing that bit of information does not change your chances of getting lucky in the back. IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. My advice, don’t come to the club thinking you’re getting special treatment. It may happen sometimes with certain dancers, but I am not one of them.
Next order of business……It’s one thing to just have expectations, but when you try and take matters into your own hands to have those expectations met, WE HAVE A PROBLEM. Ladies, you know what i’m talking about. Every damn day we get customers that try and get more out of the lap dance than what is allowed. They think its okay to let their hands (or mouth even) explore just any part of your body. Well a couple things you should know (to those customers):
#1. I don’t care if 50 cent says “you ain’t gotta take ya panties off, just pull ‘em to the side. (Amusement Park)” That shit don’t fly with me. Do not try and move my g-string or booty shorts to the side so you can let your fingers or mouth explore my wonder walls. My orphuses are off limits!
#2. If you whip your dick out, I will end the dance, I will call security, and I will most likely slap you in the face. Keep your sexual appendages to yourself, please and thanks.
#3. Don’t try and motion my hand anywhere near your penis. Barriers or no barriers, I am not jerking you off!
#4. Do not try/succeed at kissing me on the lips. It’s too intimate and let’s face it, I don’t care for you…just the contents of your wallet.
#5. Don’t leave hickies or bite marks on me. I really don’t care to sport your vampire tendencies.
Dancers all have their own limits when it comes to touchy-feely customers. Some girls will tolerate more than others. Managers encourage dancers to end dances if they are uncomfortable for any reason. I’d appreciate it if these customers didn’t give me a reason to end a dance in the first place, but know that I’m not afraid to. Unless the stuff you’re trying to pull is permitted, then don’t try it.
Just wait till I address the issues of customers not taking no for an answer!
Similar to living paycheck to paycheck, but since strippers do not make paychecks, I created (unless proven otherwise) the term garter-to-garter to be its equivalent. The thing about living garter-to-garter is that its not steady or guaranteed like a paycheck can be. When you work jobs with salaries or hourly wages, you are guaranteed a certain amount of money per hour. Even if you’re doing a piss poor job at what you’re doing, unless you get fired, you can rest assure than you’ll still make X amount of money in those types of jobs.
Making money as an exotic dancer can be either extremely daunting or extremely exciting. We as dancers have no idea how much we’ll be making at the end of the night. Some girls have a pretty decent idea because they are just that good or maybe they just hustle hard enough to make their nightly average. Sometimes if its a slow shift or you’re not hustling hard enough (which is totes on you), you’ll barely make enough money that day to pay for gas money. Those cover charges (house and DJ fees) will haunt you on those slow days.
When I first started dancing, I hated those girls that would come into the dressing room whining about how they only made $500 or $600 that night. I couldn’t help but to think how A. that’s more than you would make at a minimum wage job and B. that’s more money than you had when you came in and C. she’s apparently used to making more than that. It took me some time but I eventually came to understand that some girls dance for a living. Their rent, food, gas, tuition money, kid supplies, depends on the money they make in the club.
I don’t depend on the money I make in the club. I am one of those few (maybe more) dancers that is still being taken care of to some degree. Some girls literally live garter to garter. That’s when you see girls who like to be lazy some days hustling harder than any girl in the club to make their car payment. Some girls want to make at least $400 or more in a night but some girls HAVE to. I respect those ladies who hustle harder than drug dealers and pimps to pay those big bills like car and rent. You make your money boo boo!
“Femininity is wearing shoes that make it difficult to run, skirts that inhibit movement, and underclothes that interfere with blood circulation. It can hardly be coincidental that the clothes men find most flattering on a woman are precisely those that make it most difficult for her to defend herself against aggression.”— Suzanne Brogger