For those of you who don’t know what a “sponsor” is, let me inform you. I’m sure you know what a sugar daddy is. WELL, a sponsor is nearly the same thing except you do not to have to give any sexual favors in return. Doesn’t that just sound like a dream? Surrrrrrre, you may have to sacrifice a little of your time in a day to hang out with your sponsor, but as long as he’s paying you or buying you cool shit, what does it matter? To me, a sponsor is like a unicorn. It’s cool in theory, but I have never seen one and probably never will. I have heard of girls that have sponsors who take them out to dinner, buy them cars, and pay their rent.
Only problem is, things in this life generally don’t come free. Men who are willing to sponsor a girl are probably either hoping that girl will eventually put out or be their gf/wife. I would love to find a sponsor. I nearly had one once, but I backed out of the potential “relationship” because he gave me the creeps. I didn’t want to end up getting raped, chopped up into thousands of pieces, and stuffed in a basement freezer. Little extreme I know….but generally my instincts are always right.
SPP #28 - People that think strippers aren't intelligent
For the record, we are people too. I feel like people assume or just plain feel like we aren’t fully functioning members of society. In thinking that, they often jump to the conclusion that we aren’t intelligent. It may even be the whole beauty and no brains assumption. Well, this just in bitches: we are in fact, very intelligent. Although we do have men throw money at us just for being beautiful and/or a good dancer, not all the money we make comes that easy. We have to use this interesting word called intelligence to get what we want. Gee, I can’t even believe I spelled that word right since I’m apparently a stupid stripper. Fuck you to anyone thinking this bitch totally took advantage of tumblr’s spell checker. I have a college degree. Anyways, getting off topic……
We’re certainly smart enough to convince customers to buy dances from us. It’s not always an easy task because some customers initially tell themselves they’re not going to spend a dime on us….cheap bastards. In that case, we have to figure out ways to convince them a dance with us would be worth it. It can take time, manipulation, and listening to stories about how his bitch wife drove him to this place, but regardless, WE MAKE SURE WE GET OURS.
Just know this, there is a decent percetage of us that have college degrees or are currently pursuing one. Some of us are also working other jobs that do require college degrees and/or specialized experience (forgive me for sounding like usajobs). Please do not assume that all strippers are stupid. Just because society portrays us in a negative light doesn’t mean you have to conform your beliefs to fit the mold. We are smart, beautiful, and entertaining women. Don’t you forget it!
SPP #27 - The myth that women stripping = daddy issues
Seriously? Where did this myth even come from? I have a psych degree so I won’t lie, I get the logic, but I would still argue that there is a very weak correlation between the two. I don’t believe that women have to have fan-fucking-tastic relationships with their father to not end up becoming a stripper. There are women out there who have great relationships with their dads and they still strip. I’M ONE! I love my dad and he and I are very close. I still made the conscious decision to become a stripper. OH, and what about the women that do have daddy issues that don’t strip? Would it be argued that there are extraneous variables that influence those specific situations?
All I’m saying is that I don’t believe that daddy’s love really influenced my decision to become a stripper.
Its free and references over 400 pole moves including Chinese pole moves too. Not only do you have the pictures but the video on how to do certain moves properly as well. The moves are broken down in categories of difficulty, flexibility,alias,and origin.
SPP #26 - When customers try to dominate the lap dance
Every dancer gets that kind of customer that likes to take control during a lap dance. I mean I get it. Most men like to be in control. I may appreciate being dominated on occasion in bed, but I do not appreciate being dominated during a lap dance by someone I’m not even remotely emotionally and/or sexually attracted to. When I say “dominate,” I mean that customers try to control your body movements throughout the lap dance. I feel like men do this because of one or both of the following reasons:
1. they need to feel like they are in control.
2. if they move you a certain way or certain speed, they’ll get the maximum amount of pleasure possible. you may not be grinding hard enough against their junk.
Either way, it can become quite uncomfortable when customers try to do this. You might be trying to move one way and they are moving you another. This can also be quite painful depending on how they’re moving you. I’ve had a couple of customers that pushed down on my shoulders really hard while I was dancing for them. Both those customers can expect a bill from my chiropractor. It’s bullshit that I can get that much back pain from a lap dance.
It’s even worse when customers are throwing you around in different positions before you even have enough time to figure out what’s happening. My ideal lap dance situation: customer sits on the love seat and lets me be in control of the dance from start to finish. I don’t mind the caressing, the occasional ass grab, tit rub, or hands gently gripping my waist while i’m dancing. HOWEVER, I am not a puppet and I don’t appreciate men (customers in particular) trying to control me.
Commonly known fact by all dancers: bruises are inevitable. Doesn’t change the fact that they suck. I really only get them on my legs and on my back. They mainly come from floor work and sometimes intense pole work. I just hate when my bruises are bad enough that A. customers will ask me about them and B. when I have to come up with some excuse to explain them to people that don’t know I strip. I hatehatehate bruises. They hurt and they’re seriously unattractive. I know some dancers prefer to own their bruises, but I am a secret stripper so secretly owning them will have to work for the time being.
Sooo....I was going to write a stripper pet peeve on disrespectful customers BUT then I realized there are many different types. So instead of writing just one pet peeve on this issue, I will write multiple pet peeves for each specific type of customer illustrating the reason why they are disrespectful.
SPP #25 - customers who will waste a dancer's time
I don’t know how many times on Tumblr I have to reiterate the fact that all strippers care about is money. Our primary goal when we go to work is to make paper. Therefore, it is a goddamn shame when we get stuck talking to customers who will not buy dances or really tip for that matter. Sometimes the new customers don’t know any better. Well it’s your lucky day newbs because Karma is letting you know what you shouldn’t do. DO NOT WASTE A DANCER’S TIME.
If you know you’re not going to spend money, don’t try and keep talking to us. You are seriously wasting our time and our earning potential. While you’re going on and on about how your ex girlfriend left you but it was her loss cause you’re such a catch blah blah blah….I could be making serious money. If you’re going to talk my ears off, at least be tipping me while you’re doing it. If not, I’m going to leave you.
I have respect for those customers that know they’re not going to/can’t give you money so they’ll tell you to go make your rounds and come back to talk if it gets slow. Those customers understand the hustle. They know our #1 priority is to make money and that as a result, time is of the essence. If you’re not going to spend money on me, don’t waste my time. I’d like to consider myself a very polite person and I sortofmaybekinda hate having to excuse myself just because you’re broke and/or inconsiderate. If you’re not planning to spend money and I can tell you’re not going to bend on it, don’t count on my company for too much longer. Consider yourself warned.
SPP #24 - When customers attempt to negotiate dance prices
Seriously though?!?! This is a strip club, NOT A FUCKING YARD SALE. Do not, I repeat DO NOT come into a strip club thinking that you can bargain with dancers on the price of a lap or table dance. The prices are set in stone. If I tell you a table dance is $20, do not say “well how about $15?” Well how about you either pay me $20 or gtfo? Also, don’t give dancers shit for the prices like we hand-picked them. We did not choose the prices. Management/Corporate did. Don’t even waste time giving them shit because I can pinky promise you that they will not change the prices just because you’re $10 short. It’s not our fault you’re broke and decided to come to a strip club. You better hit up that ATM or get your financial priorities in order and then come back. Cheap is not cute boo boo…..just saying.
customers will go up to the stage and stare at a girl’s hoo-ha. Not just any stare…. the kind of stare a hawk gives it’s prey before it’s about to strike. It just has me thinking about why they’re staring so hard. Are they waiting for it to do a trick? Understandable (maybe) if my club was fully nude, but my state has crazy laws so we can only strip down to pasties and a g-string. Just a thought….
SPP #23 - When DJ's don't call your name when it's time for your set
Now I HOPE that dancers at other clubs don’t have this problem. At my club, the DJ calls your name when it’s time (or close) for you to get on stage for your set. I’m going to safely assume this is the standard for many clubs. SOMETIMES the DJ will forget or just plain choose not to call a dancer’s name when it’s time for her set. In the case of forgetting, I’m understanding when the DJ’s list of dancers changes because he’s (or she’s) adjusting the list according to song genres or because dancers leave early. BUT, as I mentioned only a second ago, sometimes the DJ will just plain choose not to call your name.
This generally occurs because the DJ doesn’t like you for some reason. Why doesn’t he like you? As mentioned in an earlier blog post, he may not like you because of any of the following reasons:
1. you pissed him off. shame on you.
2. he doesn’t like the genre of music you choose to dance to.
3. you don’t flirt with him enough (or at all)
4. you don’t tip him well (or at all like some girls)
5. he just doesn’t like you as a person. it happens….
There’s a DJ in particular at my club who doesn’t like the kind of music I primarily dance to (rock) so he “forgets” to put me on stage. One night, I managed to go the whole night without getting called ONCE to the stage. I was having a shitty night anyways so I didn’t bother to tell him. I also noticed that he doesn’t put other girls on stage that he doesn’t like for whatever reason.
To the DJ’s, I don’t care if you don’t like me or the genre of music I like to dance to. PLEASE DON’T FUCK WITH MY MONEY. It’s even more frustrating for me, because aside from apparently choosing music the DJ doesn’t like, I’m very friendly, cooperative, and I tip well (depending on how I’m treated and how my day went). I know that sometimes dancers can be unprofessional, but it doesn’t mean you (the DJ) need to also be unprofessional. Your job is to play music for my set just like it’s my job to be on stage when you call me. Unless you genuinely forget to call my name due to an unorganized list, then please make sure to call my name once every rotation. Please and thanks.
SPP #22 - When customers try to convince you that sex with them would be the greatest thing in the world.
First off, sex with ME would be more like some 8th wonder of the world before it would EVER be that great with you (customer). Okay okay….so maybe I can’t really know that. Either way, I don’t need you verbally giving me your dissertation on why the sex with you would be so amazing. You can have a porno-worthy-sized penis and I STILL wouldn’t want to have sex with you. Stop trying to convince me that sex with you would be like some amazing gift or opportunity that I just can’t pass up.
I don’t know if any other dancers can really relate, but let me explain more about this kind of customer. This customer will be getting a lap dance with you and start saying things like “I bet you would love the sex with me, I would fuck you so hard…” Another popular one is when you’re grinding against their boner and they say some shit like “yeah…you feel all that….I know you want it. Baby I could make you cum so hard if you just give me a chance.” Well this just in, I’m NEVER giving you the chance. This kind of talk that I’m referring to isn’t just dirty talk. It falls right on the line between dirty talk and seriousness to just full-blown they are literally trying to get you to have sex with them.
To those customers out that that swear they could give me THE orgasm of a lifetime, just stop trying. I don’t care to hear that you’d be good in bed or why you’d be good in bed. I guess it will just have to be a mystery……
Since all majority of my blog posts are my “stripper pet peeves,” I just wanted to make a couple things clear.
1. when I say “you” in the posts, I could either be referring to the customer, the dancers, management, or whoever the hell I’m bitching about. It’s generally pretty easy to tell from the title.
2. I’m not writing any of stripper pet peeve’s posts generally. I cannot speak for other dancers and this is MY personal blog so these are just my thoughts/opinions/feelings. If you can relate, then that makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
SPP #21 - Full-blown or borerline Pedophilic Customers
Now, I know that strip clubs are supposed to be like a fantasy playground for a customer. There are, however, a few fantasies that I’m not willing to help play out. The first one at the top of my list is pedophile fantasies. Sure, you get some pretty strange and creepy individuals in the club. The ones that really irk me to my core are the ones that like ‘em way too young. These ones aren’t too hard to spot out once you see the kinds of dancers they choose. They’ll usually go for the extremely tiny, young and innocent-looking dancers.
I get men who like Asians….I get men who like women with big tits….I even get men who like women with no shred of intelligence (well not really)…but I really DON’T get men who like children. That is single-handedly one of the most perverse things to me. We all know that men who can’t reveal their true nature out in society will come to the club and subject us to their deepest darkest desires.
I once had a customer tell me that he didn’t want a dance from me because I looked like I could be his grand-daughter and I was way too young for him. Next thing I know, he is asking me to come off stage because he can’t wait to get a dance from me. He was really into that dance. Even my house mom pointed out that he was seriously into the dance.
I try and cater to a lot of different customers’ tastes, but I will not do that with men who are pedos. Sowwy!
It might just have to do with the area that I live in, but I’ve noticed that when I leave the club (around 3AM), the streetlights don’t work too well. I’m assuming it’s because there aren’t enough cars on the road to properly trigger the sensors. Either way, what’s the f***ing point of driving when there’s absolutely no traffic on the roads but get delayed by streetlights that take an ETERNITY to turn green?! SO FRUSTRATING. *end rant*
the most harmless looking customers can actually be the grimiest ones? I’m generally smart enough not to judge a book by its cover, but seriously?! It’s just frustrating sometimes to think, hey, this guy looks like he won’t even touch me during the lap dance when in actuality, I end up fighting THE WHOLE TIME to keep his hands from wandering. It’s even worse when the customer isn’t that bad looking. Somehow, I guess I just expect more out of those types of customers. I can usually tell how certain customers are going to act when we go in the back room, but I HATEHATEHATE being surprised (in a negative way).
I know what some of you may be thinking. “Why would you give your number out to a customer anyways?" First off, let me say that my digits DO NOT come easy. Secondly, I only give my number out for business purposes. I give my number out to customers that I can trust to come to see me and drop mad bills. I do not mind giving out my number and letting customers know what days I work. BUT, it becomes a problem when they are blowing up my phone with texts or calls.
There are seriously only a handful of people on this earth that I can even tolerate blowing up my phone. I can tell you right now, NO customer is part of that handful. I don’t like to mix business with pleasure (although my business is to pleasure customers in a sense). I just don’t feel like being waken up with your “good morning” texts or your “what are you up to” texts. Initially, it’s sweet, but then it can get to be annoying. I might be cool with it if I get on a certain level with a customer, but that rarely ever happens.
Unless you’re calling/texting to find out what days I’m working and unless you’re on that level with me, DO NOT blow up my phone with calls or texts. Please and thanks.
SPP #19 - Customers who don't want company, but are too "polite" to say so
I WISH that my job were as simple as “hey gorgeous, I want 20 laps dances from you.” I WISH that I didn’t have to lift a pinkie and just had customers drown me in money. However, this is the real world. Maybe that shit happens in Vegas, but not at my club. Sure you get tips on and off stage, and sometimes customers will even ask you for a dance before you can introduce yourself. Never-the-less, talking to customers is necessary. It’s the first step to hustling as you know.
More often than not, you’ll get friendly customers that are more than willing to have your company. I’m mean sure, it’s fun to watch beautiful woman on stage, but it’s MUCH more fun to actually get to talk and be close with them. Most dancers have their own way of asking a customer if they want company. Again, MOST customers want your company, however, some customers just want to be alone. My problem here is when these “loner customers” don’t tell you they want to be left alone.
I understand that they don’t want to be rude by “rejecting” us, but sometimes they’re rude by keeping us. These customers don’t really want to talk, so when we try talking to them, it’s an awkward one-way conversation (in most cases). These customers barely even peel their eyes away from the stage to acknowledge our presence. Sometimes these customers will go out of their way to make it obvious they don’t want our company by intentionally being rude. They’ll do their very best to make it known that they are not interested so we’ll leave. It’s like when a guy doesn’t want to break up with his gf, so what does he do? He acts like an asshole until the girl has enough and breaks up with him. I get the logic but it’s still a f***ed up thing to do.
All I’m asking is that if you don’t want my company, SAY SO. I have customers that will allow me to introduce myself and then they’ll inform me that they don’t want any company. I’m a big girl, I can handle rejection so long as you’re polite about it. Please don’t keep me around if you’re going to be rude, make it awkward, and/or waste my time.
SPP #18 - Dancers that think they "own" stripper moves
Let me first say that by “own,” I mean they (dancers) think that they’re the only one allowed to do the move. NEWS FLASH DANCERS: Stripper moves are not copyrighted. Please do not think that you are the only one permitted to do a certain dance move. It’s one thing if you’re the only one who knows how to execute a move or pole trick. I get so sick of dancers who get all riled up because another dancer did “her” trick. “How dare that bitch, that is my trick…..she didn’t even do it right….blah blah blah.” Forreals?!
I get the whole concept of having signature moves. I have some of my own, but I wouldn’t get mad if a dancer did one of my moves. None of us own moves. NOT A SINGLE DANCER. I’ve also noticed that girls will get even more upset if it took them weeks to learn their so-called signature move and it only took the new girl a few days. Do not hate. I can’t say this enough, you don’t own that move. You never did and you never will. Maybe you own it in the sense that you perform it better, but you’re not the only one that’s allowed to do it. Also, keep in mind that though you think you created that move, it’s probably been done 1,000 times before by other dancers. Exotic Dancers may have not been here since the dawn of mankind, but we’ve been here quite a while. So in other words, there’s a strong chance you’re signature move is not original. I’m sorry if these words offend you, but it’s the cold hard truth.
All I’m saying is, don’t get too upset when a dancer (or two) performs a trick you think is yours during her sets. Always remember ladies, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
What are the customers like? Do you get gross weird people that you have to dance for?
You get all different types of customers. You get the gross men that just want to grope you. Men that just want to talk about their job or their problems. Men that just want to be in the company of a beautiful woman. Men that have no respect for women. Men that have a lot of respect for women. Men with fetishes. Men looking for a hook-up. Men looking for a girlfriend. Broke college kids looking for fun. Businessmen. Military men. Married men. You literally have every type of male possible.
hey there! i just saw on ur page a handful of ur friends know about your work. i'm curious what they think about it, as of now only my best friend and my ex-bf know. i'm worried my friends will judge me :/
The few friends that do know think it’s really cool. You’d be surprised to find out how many people think its cool to know a stripper. For friends that I wasn’t initially sure about telling, I would try and gauge their feelings on the subject. I’m a recent college grad so I would make jokes about how if I couldn’t find a job, I would become an exotic dancer, then I would wait to see how they responded.
SPP #17 - Customers more interested in watching the sports than the dancers
I’m not sure if it’s common for gentlemen’s clubs to have tvs, but mine does. At my club, we have several flat screens that most of the time show music videos, but sometimes has sports games on. At first you’d think, “well that would bring in more customers so that mean’s more money, right?” To answer that: NO, that does not necessarily mean more money. In fact, when there are games on, most of the time the customers will pay more attention to the game than the dancers on stage. Seriously?
I worked the night the Redskins played their first game of the season last year. We had customers actually turn their chairs away from the stage to face the tv’s. I understand the interest in seeing both your favorite team play and seeing naked woman on stage, but make sure you spend money.
If you’re really just there to watch sports, GO TO A SPORTS BAR! I honestly can’t stand the customers that come in mainly to watch the sports and they don’t spend any money on the dancers.
Love your blog! You're inspiring.
Hope you don't mind but I was wondering how much you make on an average night?
Honestly, a dancer’s average can be easily influenced by things such as time of year and even time of the month. The summertime and right around Christmas are the best times to make money at my club. When I started (during the summer), my average at night was at least $400. If I hustled harder, it would probably be something like $600. Truthfully, i’m happy as long as I make $200 because it’s money I didn’t have and more money than i’d make if I were working a minimum wage job.
Stripper Survey Question of the Week:
Can you relate an example of how being a dancer has affected or influenced your life in a positive way?
I have always been in decent shape, but working at the club has motivated me to work out more. You need to have an immense amount of strength to pull off certain pole tricks. Now when I go to the gym, I target muscles like my bi’s, tri’s, back, abs, and legs. Working out is good for anybody. It gives you energy and it just makes you feel good.
Now, I L-O-V-E to do pole tricks. Besides making money, it’s my favorite reason to go on stage. I hate trying to do pole work on a slippery pole. It’s the worst!
#1. It’s dangerous
#2. It’s just kind of gross
One of the most common reasons that the pole gets slippery is because girls will use the pole after they’ve just covered themselves in body lotion. No offense to the newbs, but dancers should no better than to put lotion OR baby oil on before they’re going to go on stage. If you’re going to put on lotion, do it at least 20-30 minutes before you go on stage so the lotion has time to set into your skin. I know you don’t want to be ashy, but don’t coat the pole in slippery substances.
Another reason is that dancers will get sweaty….and yeah i’m sure you know the rest. I understand that you are working your ass off up there or maybe you’re just a little nervous (whatever it may be). Just make sure to wipe off the pole before you get off. I don’t know how other clubs operate with this, but at my club, we keep a washcloth and multipurpose cleaner next to the stage.
Please make sure to clean the pole if you make it slippery. Certainly clean it when you’re starting your set! No one wants to do pole tricks on a slippery pole. NO ONE!